Boys, Girls, and Scouting


I’m going to weigh in on a very controversial subject, with the disclaimer that the views I’m expressing are entirely my own.

A few weeks ago Facebook was blowing up with commentary from Stacy Dash, Matt Walsh, and all these other conservative pages, about Boy Scout’s decision to include girls.

Most of the feedback ranged from, “Why can’t boys be boys and girls be girls?” to “America is going to hell, the transgender have indoctrinated even something as sacred as scouting.”

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Pumpkin Carving and “Running With The Pack” belt loop work for our Wolf Den.

This bothered me.

Nobody, in those articles about an article, cited the reason behind Boy Scout’s decision or their statement.  But I received their statement first because I am a scout mom.  It actually says, and I quote:

“Families today are busier and more diverse than ever. Most are dual-earners and there are more single-parent households than ever before [1], making convenient programs that serve the whole family more appealing. Additionally, many groups currently underserved by Scouting, including the Hispanic and Asian communities, prefer to participate in activities as a family. Recent surveys [2] of parents not involved with Scouting showed high interest in getting their daughters signed up for programs like Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, with 90 percent expressing interest in a program like Cub Scouts and 87 percent expressing interest in a program like Boy Scouts. Education experts also evaluated the curriculum and content and confirmed relevancy of the program for young women.”

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Our Boy Scout troop retired a tattered American Flag ceremoniously.

Regardless of how I feel about the position that they took (and I will share that in a minute), this was never – EVER – a push by the LGBT community.  Because it was never designed to incorporate girls into boy scouting through some vague, androgynous definition of boy or girl.

So food for thought towards those who put their opinions of social media, as entitled to them as you are: you just slandered a massive organization composed of loving, invested parents such as my husband and myself.

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My favorite Pop Corn seller Scout!

The truth is many parents within the BSA had problems with this decision.  Many parents in the very troops I’m involved with threw a fit because they don’t believe scouting should be co-ed.  Likewise, I was also privately messaged by MANY moms not involved in scouting who told me, “My daughter has always wanted to join boy scouts.  She is more into the stuff that they get to do.”

My feelings on the matter?

Thank you!

Thank you, Boy Scouts of America, for realizing how difficult it is on middle-class, working families, to drive one boy to cub scouts, one boy to boy scouts, and one girl to girl scouts.  Thank you for being considerate of our time and not dividing our family up one more evening a week.  Thank you for putting such high value on the family as a unit.  Thank you for not being chauvinistic.  Thank you for being more accessible to everyone else other than white families with a well-paid Dad.  Thank you for turning the hearts of the fathers towards their daughters.  Thank you for not being so sexist that you don’t feel the skills you teach your boys are equally important to girls as well.  Thank you for creating a way for my husband and me to serve with all our children.  Thanks for teaching boys to value and respect girls – because in doing so you are raising better brothers, boyfriends, husbands and dads… and less Brock Turners and Harvey Weinsteins.And mainly, THANK YOU that my daughter doesn’t have to “identify as a boy” or experience a transgender crisis because she’d rather hike and camp with the boys than play dolls with the girls.  Thank you that she can be totally feminine, totally secure in her God-given gender and still reach the rank of Eagle Scout if she so chooses.

Rant over.

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My daughter and her friend working on the Wolf Den Cub Scout activities.

Logistically I don’t know how it will play out.  I know per the Scouting Laws and Regulations that it doesn’t mean boys and girls will go camping together.  For the most part, it seems the plan here in our local troops is to have different dens or patrols for girls and for boys.  It will require a lot more manpower.  It may totally flop! I don’t know.

I’m sticking with our Troop’s Director, who said: What are we telling our girls if we expend more family resources supporting a boy in BSA? All that said, boys do not do well with the distraction of girls, especially before 16. On the flip side, having a wholesome venue for boys and girls of similar values to interact around a common purpose is not bad, and in fact may be a real benefit. As I see it, it all boils down to two questions. 1. To what degree will integration be required. 2. Will traditional views regarding God given gender differences and roles be supported or at least tolerated.”  The rest is really to be continued…


 

The Power of Friendship

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I think sometimes friendship is under-rated.  Maybe it’s because we have cheapened it, the way we did marriage and parenting, to where it’s a watered down version of the fellowship God designed…

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… Much like the Fellowship in Lord of The Rings, it was originally written out to be a powerful group of different individuals working together and holding each other up.  Friends are supposed to help you the way Sam helped Frodo even when Frodo was too weak to help himself.  It’s the stuff legends are written out of, like the friendship between C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien which led Tolkien to Christ and to write about friendships that mirrored his own.  It’s the appeal in movies like Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers, and The Justice League – a truth we seek out today more than romance because we don’t want someone to take us to bed as much as we crave for someone to take us for a drink and listen to us for a while…

Now it’s a place of gossip and platitudes, of putting on a fake smile and a fake appearance like our make up and just doing everything to be as put together as the person next to you so you won’t be humiliated.

I’m so blessed that God has shown me what true friends are.

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It’s a church, but it’s not a denomination or an address.  It’s a family but we’re not related by blood. It’s sisterhood not because we have the same earthly parents, but because we have been adopted by the same Heavenly Father.

My friends attend different churches across the Anchorage area… and the Midwest of the USA… And the East Coast.  Some of us have many children and some of us have pets instead.  Some are married and some have been divorced, and still some are somewhere in between.

My closer friends held me up when I didn’t have the strength to walk, much like when Moses was held up by both arms in the battle where the scorching sun never seemed to set.

They brought our family dinner when I had no appetite to eat.  They gave our family opportunities to create wonderful memories when I didn’t feel a reason to get out of bed.  They stocked my cupboards with groceries when I had no money to buy food.  They provide a place for us to live when we were homeless and completely lost in what to do next.sealife

I’m not even referring to the span of my lifetime.  I’m talking about the past year.  Even more specifically the past two weeks!

Don’t ever underestimate the power you have to lift someone up.  Don’t ever think that you couldn’t be that one voice that says, “You’re going to make it!”  Don’t think for one moment that a hot plate or even a hot cup of coffee with a hug and a smile won’t make a difference in someone else’s life because I’m alive today to tell you that it does.

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One Thing I Learned from Mandy

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Confession: I have been rocked by tragedies recently, although mostly peripheral to me.  I don’t know if my heart is just more sensitive today, or maybe it’s God trying to show me something…

I have been gutted by multiple instances of overnight fires, claiming multiple lives.  Even here in town.  I shared on my Facebook feed a news article as a prayer request in one incident because it felt horribly close to home, and my husband knew the couple involved.

But my phone wasn’t done blowing up with these types of notifications, as last week on Tuesday many of my blogger friends expressed grief that a fire took the lives of a mom, dad, and two children during the night. In sadness, I said a quick prayer for people involved but it didn’t really register at that moment.

How You Finish

Mandy Kelly was a wonderful Christian blogger at Worshipful Living, where she created a lot of brilliant resources for Moms/Homeschoolers/God-fearing women like me… One of these being the Good Morning Girls ministry, where she was the Leadership Coordinator.

I cannot even begin to share how the Good Morning Girls Facebook page influenced my life; I followed along their Bible studies, I was encouraged to dive into my Bible (even through seasons where I didn’t really feel spiritual), and I often used these studies in fellowship with other mom friends when we felt a little too busy or disconnected.

When I realized it was “that Mandy”, my heart sunk.  Even though I didn’t know her personally, she was who “I wanted to be when I grow up”.  I think every Christian mom-blogger does this chore of Pinterest and social media promotion with the hopes that they’ll be able to use their voice and influence others the way Mandy did.  I dream of having this humble beginning of a blog become a solace for all these godly warriors who are fiercely on the front lines of God’s Kingdom over their households.

As I prepare to participate in a link-up to honor Mandy, I have to think about ONE THING she taught me and I’m at a total loss for what to say.  She taught me to read and highlight in my Bible, and how to do the SOAP method.  She taught me that I can rekindle the joy in my homeschooling, and that having the faith of a harlot can be a remarkable thing.

But I think the main lesson I can walk away with is to finish well.

Her life and ministry was an example of how it doesn’t matter how you start as long as you do, and nothing on this earth is fatal or final; until you are before the very presence of God – where Mandy and her family found themselves last Wednesday morning – you can always be used by God.  You are never out of grace.  You are never beyond hope.  So finish this race, and finish well.


Even though it came as a surprise, I know she was welcomed into eternity as she heard Jesus say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Because in her earnest desire to finish well, that phrase describes who she was and what she inspired others to be.

Mandy’s church has opened a fund to help raise donations for the family. You can make donations here. When you visit the website, click on the green “Give” button and designate your donation for The Kelly Family.  The funeral for Scott, Mandy, Lizzie and Judah Kelly will be at 1 p.m. on Monday, March 27, 2017, at her church. Visitation will be held before the service from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. I ask that you please hold the surviving two children and extended family in prayers during the service (for Alaskan reference, this would be between 6:30am – 10:30am our time).

In Memory Of

This post will be a part of a link up of other bloggers choosing to honor Mandy, which goes live on March 29th. I encourage you to read more from other bloggers at that time.  And I can only pray that should I pass on to eternity unexpectedly, I would have made my mark on this world like Mandy did.

What are some ways you hope to finish well? How can I encourage you and pray with you through this?