I haven’t even had the time to sit down and blog the past two months. And that’s because everything came like a hurricane – the good, the bad, and the ugly – all at once. I would not have chosen this; if I had a say in the events of my life I’d schedule them out, give me a chance to recover. But in the span of only 15 days:
- My oldest son needed oral surgery and major orthodontic appliances
- My mom went in the hospital with pneumonia, in FL
- We passed appraisals and inspections on the house, got ready to close
- My mom’s cancer came back in her lungs
- I booked the soonest flight to FL from AK, in the middle of everything here at home (Thank God for my friends Tony and Tracy who worked together to get me a ticket within an HOUR of getting “the news”).
- My mom passed away in her sleep before I boarded the plane.
What followed felt like a Lifetime movie, and I was jumping through hoops to keep everything moving.
I processed my mom passing away from the floor of the airport in Phoenix, AZ. That’s about all the time I got before I was on the ground making decisions, and planning her ceremony.
Her entire ceremony was at the hands of none other than my sister and yours truly. Thankful for the friends who helped, kept us company, or at least brought us food.
My sister had to move out of the apartment she shared with my mom, so we were also going through boxes and drawers, deciding RIGHT NOW what to do with all of my mom’s belongings. $160 worth of shipping costs from FL to AK later, and a suitcase costing me $130 on United Airlines, I can honestly say I kept as much as I could because I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I was too busy to be angry, but I felt angry anyways.
Back home, my husband closed on a home, packed our apartment, worked 60+ hours a week and moved us into our home (and completely out of our apartment) all by himself. Well with heavy lifting and a lot of help from friends the Saturday we moved. But all the packing, all of the paperwork, all of the childcare, all of the kid stuff was entirely on him while he’s working two jobs. I’m surprised I have any husband left and he didn’t just fall apart and die on me. Entirely grateful for having him in my corner.
While I was gone I would keep in touch with the kids and my son’s appliance broke, in the evening, while Dad was working. That made me feel so helpless. If I was home, I’d call the emergency line and get him to his orthodontist after hours. But because I wasn’t home, my husband had to take a morning off work to get him in. I felt a little bit like I was failing. I felt like I was being torn in two – half of me in Alaska, the rest of me in Florida.
So now I’m home! I came home to my house, to all of my belongings in boxes I can’t sort yet, to needing to figure out where the grocery store is or my new church… to having to set up mail service. And with weeks before my husband and I start teaching through AK Exploring Studies/AK Exploring Science. I’m still running… But it may be a good thing. I wouldn’t know what to do if I just sat still for a moment with nothing to do.