Confession: My husband and I are fighting a battle against the Credit Bureu over our score and our history. It has been a loooooong battle against years of unemployment/underemployment and identity theft. And it feels uphill and unfair.
And by looong it means we have been living with our friends since last July, a family of five with a family of four in a three bedroom condo with three dogs and a bunny. We have been paying a credit repair company AND a credit report monitoring company to help us fight this battle.
While I’m extremely thankful for our friends’ hospitality, it’s not something I want to abuse of. It’s also not comfortable. I’ve been ready to move out since October 2016. But our credit scores were still pretty bad and not climbing as fast as we hoped.
Then last month we were finally only 15 points away from the magic number! We were so optimistic. Things were just bound to turn a corner soon, right?
For reasons I still don’t understand as I’m writing this we lost 46 points. It felt like a punch to the stomach while the referee called a time-out. It’s like doing the cha-cha with someone who is actively trying to step on your already sore toes.
If I’m completely honest, at some point I was in the shower, asking God, “What kind of animal sacrifice do I need to offer You for me to get a little bit of favor?! What more do You want from me?!?” And these are common reactions to unanswered prayers… Why? When?? How??? With a dash of bargaining and trying to bribe Him.
But then I chose to anchor myself on truths against a bombardment of lies from the enemy in response to these questions. I said these truths to myself like a creed, over and over until my heart caught up to my brain:
- God has surrounded me in a team of prayer warriors that are supporting me. The friends that opened their home for us did so because they believed in the work that God will do in our families when we are able to stop renting and can afford a stable home. For the same reason, they have asked us to stay: because they want to see the Lord bring this to completion as much as we do. Our realtors are covering us in prayer. Our church is covering us in prayer. I am not alone.
- God is FOR me. I can look up and expect His help! He doesn’t just mildly like me, and He’s not indifferent to these trials. Just because He hasn’t released it to me in my timing, does not mean that His answer is “No.” His heart is generous towards me and is more than able to provide! So for all this time that He has not said “Yes”, I have to believe it’s because what He has in mind is better than what I am seeing right now. I will continue to look up and expect His help.
- God is accomplishing something good in my heart through this trial. It’s not a trial that will result in bitterness, or wedge distance between God and me. This is a trial that has me fall onto the Rock of ages – and I will remember these times with fondness! I will recall how God held us, and sustained us, and did wonderful things in our family and all around us. This may be a painful part of His plan, but it is still with the purpose of causing good in me and around me. So I will worship Him.
This faith-based perspective is by all means it’s not of this world. It’s definitely not in my nature. It is His Spirit working in me, comforting me, and giving me a hope I could not manufacture on my own through ‘positive thinking’. So if you are going through a trial, the best I can encourage you to do is to dig deep into God’s Word and prayer. He can lift your countenance better than any motivational phrase can! If He has this strength available for me, He can do this in you too!
If you like the Bible verse images, go ahead and save them! They make great smart phone wallpapers, and I own the rights to the photos. 🙂
What is God revealing to you about your season of trials? How can I align myself with God’s will for you in prayer? Share below.