You Might Be a Mom If…

Confession: I dropped off the kids at gymnastics camp and ran an errand at Walgreens. An attendant asked me if I was doing OK and I replied with, “We are.” I was entirely, obviously by myself. True story.

So here I am at home, with 3 hours to myself. I could catch up on laundry, make phone calls, and get ahead on the Zumba or Spanish classes I teach. More than likely I’ll read a book and take a nap.

But the whole drive home I thought of all these different mom-isms I put myself through (aside from sounding schizophrenic):

10) I spend most of my time getting ready to go out just arguing with a smaller version of myself about proper hygiene.

9) I’m so used to eating meals standing up that I almost do this at restaurants too.

8) A nap is a treat – sexier than chocolate or roses. And coffee is a mom’s best friend.

7) A “bad day” is characterized by adding Bailey’s Irish Cream to my coffee.

6) I can spin the whole “no one listens to me until either I’m raving mad and screaming or crap hits the fan” monologue into ANY situation. It could be as benign as, and “Hun, we need to replace a light bulb”, to “Caleb has cat litter in his eye”. That speech applies every time.

5) I clean everywhere I go. I help waitresses, Walmart staff… If there’s anything I can wipe down every where I do it, not because I care, but because it’s such a repetitive motion for me I do it on auto-pilot.

4) I have smiled and encouraged my youngest to show me how he can play that High C on his recorder even though I was fighting a migraine.

3) I drive a van, wear leggings and a hoodie, and don’t match socks.

2) In true “Momma Bear” fashion, I can go from “perfect example of proper manners” to “Tasmanian Devil from Detroit” in 0.2 seconds if you mess with my kids.

1) I’m the sole undefeated champion of the “does this belong here” game. No one in my home can put things back where they came from better than me!

If you have any mom-isms please share them below! Otherwise laugh, grab a second cup of coffee and enjoy reading a few more blog posts. Thanks always for stopping by.